Today’s post is a contribution by Sarah Grace Del Rosario. Sarah is a mommy blogger and freelance event stylist at Del Rosario events. She also works as a community outreach specialist and blogger at Formuland.com, a company providing holle formula and other organic products for babies. When not busy working, you can see her showcasing her paintings and recipe failures at her blog.
Relationship Survival Tips for New Parents | Fit Pregnancy and Baby
Even the healthiest couples will have a difficult time to adjust when the first baby comes along. Parenthood is one of the most exciting stages in your family life but it also brings an additional strain into your marriage. The arrival of a baby means additional work, greater responsibility, often sleepless nights, less time for intimacy and consequently more stress between the two of you.
There are so many questions in your mind about your new roles and balancing it with your role as a spouse is a delicate issue to trudge on. You may also feel overwhelmed by the expectations you have of each other that often disappoints and the expectation of other people of you where you will always feel inadequate. Being able to share this with each other without resulting into a fight is a skill you have to learn along the way. During this time it is possible to be disconnected with your spouse, for intimacy to dwindle and for satisfaction in the relationship to wane. What will prove really important is mastering openness in communication through the different challenges that will come ahead that will help you better cope and adjust in the inevitable changes in your marriage.
It is good to know though that the key areas where conflict may arise is easy to predict and therefore can be prepared for in advance by couples planning to have a baby. Here are some of the common issues that new parents encounter which hamper their marriages and how to hurdle each.
Keep the flame of intimacy burning
Date night is so important in marriage. Your alone time together is a vital concept for your marriage to thrive. Connectedness is one of the key factors in love. With the chaos that comes along with the joy of having a child, couples often neglect setting aside a day or a time in their week to just be together uninterrupted and not distracted by anything else but each other. No matter how busy your schedule is be absolute in your commitment to prioritize having a date night at least once a week. Whether you stay at home and watch a movie or you go out in a coffee shop and talk endlessly, the important thing is make it happen. Hire a nanny for a moment or bring the baby to the grandparents, I am sure they will be delighted to take on the role of baby sitter in a heartbeat.
Chores and responsibilities at home.
Do you ever wonder why you always feel irritated with your spouses’ every move in the house? You always feel left alone, unappreciated, or misunderstood. Well, it is mainly because of the tension that builds up over the tasks that needs to be accomplished in the home. Since the baby arrived, the number of chores that needs to be taken cared of doubled in the home front. And there is always one spouse who thinks he/she is carrying the entire load and the other spouse feeling unappreciated for the things he/she is contributing to the household. The best practice for couples who has gone through this stage is to sit down and divide task between each other, that way expectations are set and the nature of task is better practiced by each spouse gaining more confidence in accomplishing it and getting more used with the routine. A pat in the back and simple thank you even in the simplest chore like throwing the used diaper in the trash will boost better relationship and help stop bickering.
Parenting the child
Couples often thought in the beginning that they share same values in this arena until their stance is put to a test. It is best to learn from different resources what parenting style to adopt. Make sure that you decide early on so both can adjust accordingly and will have an agreement on what you both wanted to pursue in order to arrive with your goals for your child. Consider each other’s values and background and be willing to adjust. Remember all the time that the decision you are making will shape your child’s individuality.
These are just a few of the topics where the two of you may clash. Being armed with techniques and solutions will better prepare you face these issues. Communication is still the main ingredient in overcoming the challenges you will face as a couple in the new stage of your family life.
*Thanks, Sarah, for the contribution!!!