An epiphany

You guys. I’m SO excited. Downright giddy. And I’m warning you right now, this is gonna get cheesy. Like Chester Cheetah. The cheesiest. What? Anyway.

“Suzi, why are you so excited?!”, I ask myself in the voice of one of my *many* readers. Well, dear reader, let me explain.

You know how when you’re a kid, you have big giant dreams that you are certain will 100% come true? And since you’re the center of the universe as a child, your dream will most likely also come with a side of recognition from THE WORLD, because you are special, you are important, and gosh darnit, you are going to be FAMOUS. At least that was what I thought when I was a kid. I was convinced that no matter what I did, people would know my name and consider me to be a very important person.

Then, as it tends to happen, I got older and lost some of that feeling that I would one day become a very important person. In some ways, that was a good thing, because I would probably have been an insufferable friend if I kept talking about how some day people would know my name. But then again, losing some of that dream meant that I put less emphasis on what I really wanted for my own life. I began dreaming less and coasting more, just going through the motions of what my life was “supposed” to be like. I got married, had a couple of kids, graduated college, and while all of those things were completely wonderful and things that I absolutely wanted to happen, in the middle of all of those amazing things, I lost myself.

Sometimes when you are super excited about stuff happening in your life you can give those things all of the attention and focus. But at the center of that wonderful stuff is you, and you are a fully formed person with a myriad of thoughts and feelings and no single life event should take away from who you are and what your dreams are.

But I digress.

Flash forward to last year, and while I was happy enough being home with my boys, the reality that I had stopped dreaming was lingering in my subconscious. But I had no tools to know how to get back to that place and didn’t really let myself realize how much I was missing being the kind of person who had big goals and dreams for my life.

Then something happened.

My friend called me one day and said that she had started a business and kept thinking of me and how much I would enjoy doing the same thing. I was skeptical at first, I had worked for companies in the past where I had to do parties and never made any money, and I really didn’t want to do something like that again. But then I learned more, and how this company was actually giving people the freedom to quit their jobs and work at their own pace, and all because they were sharing health with others. Being a person who had been dealing with a bunch of health problems myself, I figured it was worth a shot to at least buy the kit and try the products, and worst case scenario I had a bunch of stuff to use and never think about again.

Well, clearly I thought about it again.

After a month, my stomach issues were resolving themselves, and I had more energy than I had in YEARS. But besides that, I was seeing how much fun I could have with this new endeavor. And that brings me to my original point.

I’m dreaming again, guys. BIG dreams. I have ideas of what I want for myself and my family that are big, that are crazy, but that are tangible. I no longer coast with what I’m doing, I’m making plans and working hard to achieve my goals, and I’m doing things that feel like me. If I don’t want to run my business a certain way, I’m not doing it, I’m focusing on the things that make me happy, challenge me, and fulfill me. And I’m having an epiphany: THIS IS IT. This is the thing that I dreamt about when I was a kid. It doesn’t look the same as I expected, but that’s the thing about dreams. They rarely do. Am I going to be famous? I doubt it. Do I want to be famous anymore? Probably not. But I’m dreaming again and that alone is enough to make me feel like the kid inside me would be proud.

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Take care of yourselves, ~Suzi

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